Several times a week I get asked basically the same question. “How do I introduce something new in the bedroom to my partner?” Most of the time the one asking is not wanting to hurt their partner's feelings by suggesting something different. They also often express that they feel guilty for even desiring a little more than what is already happening.
It's so easy to get into a routine. Most of us are so busy with work, family, household chores, activities, and more that our love life can get pushed into a “If I have time and energy at the end of the day” category. Hormones and just life can also hinder us from feeling any desire for sexual activity. If you find yourself with a total lack of desire, please see your doctor. There are so many hormone replacement options out there that will make you feel like a new person.
Back to the question. “How do I introduce something new in the bedroom to my partner?”
I always answer with this, “Honesty” But the approach should be relaxed, when you both aren’t as tired, or stressed, or right after sex! Sit down and express to your partner the things that you love about them and your sex life. Then let them know that because of the love and trust in the relationship you would like to openly talk about introducing something new. It might be a toy if you haven’t tried one together, or blindfold and sensory items, it could be picking up a book on sensual massage and oils, games, bondage or whatever you would like. Ask if there is anything that you could do for them or if they have any fantasies of their own.
Who knows, maybe they have been wanting to bring something up themselves but were afraid to mention it!
On a personal note: It took me years to finally be able to speak openly. My new life partner and I have incredible open communication and it makes life fun and exciting!
