“Um… Do You Have Those?” A Beginner’s Guide to Anal Toys, Without the Awkwardness

“Um… do you have those?”

We know exactly what you mean.

You don't have to point. You don't have to whisper. And you definitely don't have to pretend you're suddenly very interested in something on the other side of the store while working up the courage to ask.

We've seen the red cheeks.

We've seen the nervous glance around the room.

We've seen the person who walks up to the counter, starts a sentence, laughs, walks away, and then comes back five minutes later.

And honestly?

You're not the first person to ask.

You won't be the last.

Anal toys are one of those things people are curious about but sometimes feel embarrassed to talk about. Maybe you've never tried one. Maybe your partner wants to try something new. Maybe you've already bought one and now it's sitting in a drawer because you're thinking, “Okay... now what?”

That's exactly why we're having this conversation.

No judgment. No weird looks. No assumptions.

Just answers.

“Okay... so where do I even start?”

Start small.

Seriously.

You don't need to walk into this category thinking you need to be adventurous, experienced, or ready to go straight to something intimidating.

Your first anal toy should be about comfort and curiosity, not proving anything.

When you're choosing a beginner toy, look for something designed specifically for anal use with:

• A smaller, beginner-friendly size

• A smooth, body-safe, nonporous material

• A shape that feels comfortable rather than intimidating

• A flared base or another secure stopping feature

• A design that is easy to control and remove

That last one matters.

Very much.

Your body is surprisingly good at holding onto things.

We want pleasure.

We don't want an emergency trip to the ER because someone's household décor got promoted to sex toy.

Which brings us to an important rule:

Just because it fits doesn't mean it's a good idea.

Christmas trees, gnomes, candles, random household objects, and other things that happen to be shaped a certain way belong on the shelf where they started.

Use toys that were actually designed for the job.

That's why purpose-made anal toys have features that household objects don't, including appropriate materials, smooth surfaces, and a base designed to prevent the toy from traveling where you don't want it to go.

“But what if I'm nervous?”

You probably will be.

And that's okay.

Your body knows when you're tense. And when you're trying something new, nervousness can make it much harder to relax.

So here's one of our biggest pieces of advice:

Don't make your first step insertion. Make your first step getting comfortable.

And honestly?

This probably isn't the activity you want to start with the second you get into bed.

Give yourself some time to warm up first. Enjoy what already feels good. If you're with a partner, take your time. And if a vaginal orgasm is part of your usual experience, there's nothing wrong with enjoying that first.

Why?

Because when you're already relaxed, aroused, and feeling good, your body may be much more receptive to trying something new.

You're not starting from:

“Okay, here we go. Let's see if I can make this happen.”

You're starting from:

“I'm already relaxed and enjoying myself. Let's see what this feels like.”

That's a much better place to begin.

Take a breath. Slow down. Explore externally first. Get familiar with the sensation. Let your body decide what feels good instead of deciding for it that you have to accomplish a particular goal.

And here's something we tell customers all the time:

You don't have to put the whole thing in.

Seriously.

You can explore a toy without immediately committing to using it the way you imagined.

There is no finish line.

There is no gold medal.

And nobody is keeping score.

If your body says, “That's enough for tonight,” listen to it.

Curiosity doesn't come with a contract.

“How much lube are we talking about?”

More than you think.

Anal tissue doesn't produce its own lubrication, so lubricant is an important part of making the experience more comfortable.

Apply lubricant to the toy and to the area you're exploring. Don't be afraid to add more as you go.

If things start feeling dry, uncomfortable, or like you're having to force anything, stop.

Add more lubricant.

Slow down.

Try a smaller toy.

Or call it a night.

There's no prize for using the least amount of lube.

This is one situation where being generous is a good thing.

And remember that lubricant compatibility matters. If you're using a silicone toy, check the manufacturer's recommendations before using a silicone-based lubricant. When in doubt, a good water-based lubricant is often a simple place to start.

“What is it actually supposed to feel like?”

This is probably one of the questions people are most embarrassed to ask.

The answer is: it can feel different for everyone.

You might notice pressure.

You might notice fullness.

You might experience a completely different kind of sensation than you expected.

And that doesn't mean something is wrong.

But there is an important distinction:

Pressure can be part of exploration. Pain is a reason to stop.

You should never feel like you need to push through significant pain because you think you're supposed to.

Your body gets a vote.

Actually, your body gets a pretty important vote.

If something doesn't feel right, stop. Give yourself a break. Try again another time if you want to, or decide it's simply not your thing.

Both are perfectly okay.

“Okay... but which one do I buy?”

This is where it gets overwhelming.

You walk into the store and suddenly there are:

Plugs.

Beads.

Vibrating plugs.

Prostate toys.

Different shapes.

Different sizes.

Different materials.

And you're standing there thinking:

“I just wanted to know what this was about.”

We've got you.

You don't need to know the terminology.

You don't need to know what every toy does.

You don't even have to know what you're looking for.

You can literally walk into Oh Babe and say:

“I've never done this before. Can you help me figure out where to start?”

That's a conversation we're happy to have.

No judgment.

No shocked faces.

No awkwardness.

Okay...

Maybe we'll smile a little because we're glad you finally asked.

“Do I have to use it with a partner?”

Nope.

Anal toys can be part of solo exploration, partnered play, or simply something you're curious about and want to understand better.

If you're using one with a partner, communication becomes even more important.

Talk about what you're comfortable with before you start.

Agree on a signal or word that means stop.

Go slowly.

And don't assume that because someone agreed to try something, they have agreed to everything.

You can change your mind at any point.

So can your partner.

That's not ruining the mood.

That's creating trust.

“What about cleaning?”

Please don't skip this part.

Your toy should be cleaned according to the manufacturer's instructions before and after use.

For an easy extra step, we recommend keeping an antibacterial toy cleaner on hand. A good toy cleaner makes cleaning quick and simple, especially when you don't want to turn it into a whole production.

Another option? Use a condom over the toy. This can make cleanup much easier and can be especially helpful if you're sharing a toy with a partner. Just make sure the condom fits securely and doesn't interfere with the toy's safety features.

Different materials can require different cleaning methods, so don't assume every toy should be treated exactly the same way. Always check the manufacturer's recommendations for your particular toy.

And if a toy is porous, damaged, cracked, or difficult to clean properly, that's worth considering when choosing a product.

One more important rule:

If a toy has been used anally, don't move it directly to the vagina without cleaning it thoroughly, putting on a fresh condom, or using a fresh barrier.

The bacteria found in the rectal area can cause vaginal or urinary infections.

It's a small step that can save you from a very uncomfortable situation later.

Clean toy. Happy body. Much better plan.

So... What's the Big Secret?

There really isn't one.

Most people who come into Oh Babe with questions aren't looking for some wild sexual adventure.

They're looking for information.

They're looking for reassurance.

They're looking for someone who won't make them feel stupid for asking.

Sometimes they just need someone to say:

“Yep. We have those. And yes, I can help you figure out what you're looking at.”

So if you've been standing three feet from the display pretending to look at something else...

If you've been Googling “best anal toy for beginners” at midnight...

If you've bought one and it's still sitting in the package because you're not quite sure what you're supposed to do...

Or if you're simply curious and don't know where to start...

Ask us.

You don't have to know the right words.

You don't have to know what you want.

You don't have to be experienced.

And you definitely don't have to be embarrassed.

We've had this conversation before.